astounding

Astounding as it may be, until yesterday I did not own a rubber

Bob, my 81 year old friend (who has more energy and enthusiasm than five teenagers combined) just knew I would be thrilled with the and I was!

My chicken had been in a box of items at a church to be tossed. Who would toss out a perfectly good rubber ?

We "baptized" the in the pool at the Y and chuckled at the expression on the lifeguards face.

How wonderful to be at a stage in life where you don't have to worry about "how it will look to others" and still be able to balance acting professional when necessary.

Life is good!

mush

Use it or lose it must apply to all situations. Recently, I agreed to become an officer of the Great people, involved in the community, fine volunteers.

However, the particular position I hold requires a great deal of memorization. I remember the prayers from grade school, the pledge of allegiance, song lyrics from 30 years ago but am having a of a time memorizing lines.

You can't paraphrase or just deliver the main message either. It must be precise.

I wish I could remove the parts of my brain that hold useless information. Do I really need to remember all the words to the song "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?" No, absolutely not.

The past few evenings I have been practicing, writing note cards and then making sure they fit in the pocket of my blazer.

Someone said "write it on your hand" Ha! too much information for that. I wonder if the other other officers would allow me to write on their hands and then they could oh so casually turn their hands so I could read it...
It's an idea worth pursuing.

Use it or lose it or your brain will turn to mush like mine has.

Today is

Today is National Tell a Story day. There are some people who tell wonderful stories. They could be describing their routine trip to the dentist and you would be hanging on every word.

There are some people who you want to "fast forward" because your life is wasting away while you wait for them to GET TO THE POINT.

Detailed story tellers are the most annoying. These people will give you so many details that you are almost ready to feign death just to get them to stop talking.

Today when you tell a story leave out the time of the event unless it is relevant to the tale, what you were wearing unless it was a stunning outfit you got in a free box at a rummage sale and then WAIT and see if your conversational partner has a fascinating story of their own.

Shower

Just the other day I attended a lovely .

The charming Bride-to-be was gracious, commented on all the gifts (including her Sponge Bob Square Pants cushioned toilet seat) and we all admired her shiny new pots and pans, colorful dishes and fluffy linens.

After watching the excitement on the face of the bride we decided it was time to start a tradition of having a shower for old married couples.

Heck, don't you need new stuff after 16 years of marriage? You betcha! We could get a group of "old-timers" together and then have everyone just bring ONE gift. It could be one the items that they said they would "treasure forever" that has been in the back of their closet since their wedding shower - who cares? Just have a and bring presents!

Watch for your invitation in the mail

what if

What if you were in a meeting and it was SO
boring you started SCREAMING? Obviously you wouldn't open your shirt like this smiley guy did but still - haven't you wanted to let loose and yell sometime??

Me too.

Rubber Eraser Day

Rubber Eraser Day

When : Always on April 15

Make no mistake, Rubber Eraser Day celebrates the invention of erasers. We all make mistakes. This day is designated to recognize and appreciate the value of that little plug (as manufacturers call them) that sits atop our pencils. When we make a mistake, they are the big "cover-up", make that eraser, of our booboo or faux pax. Just imagine how messy our documents would be without it!

Today's Quote: To err is human, an eraser is divine!

If only we had life erasers. If you inadvertently hurt someones feelings or say something stupid you could just say "whoops" and get out a lime green eraser, wave it in the air and POOF it would be gone. However, then you would need something to make the offended person forget what just happened.

Yesterday I was in an elevator on my way to a meeting. I greeted the person I knew and said to the person with her "Hi, I'm Vicki, I don't think we've met" The woman glared at me and said "yes, we have-- several times" I looked at her thinking of things that would have certainly required an eraser and then she said "oh, that was rude wasn't it" and I said "yes it was" , smiled sweetly and fortunately just then the elevator opened.

I wanted to tell her I would have remembered not only what she looked like but definitely her attitude.

Today I think we should all place our erasers in a place of prominence on top of our desk and think of all the times in our lives when we need a life eraser!

walks

Has anyone ever kept track of how many walk-a-thons are held every year?
The Paws and Claws walk looks fun. I wonder if the walkers are required to bring their own "doggie bags" to pick up litter along the way.

Getting T-shirts is nice but hey, I got one that says "Holy Spirit Walk-a-Thon" and all I did was entertain a gazillion kids for 15 minutes.

I think organizations should have fundraising events in which people will clamor to participate. How about a coffee-a-thon? You can sit and drink for hours on end and then not only charge a lot of $$ for the java but also a huge fee every time someone needs to eliminate their coffee.

How about a laugh-a-thon? Laugh, tell jokes, watch clean comedians and charge a hefty fee per chuckle.

Or for people with good intentions but no energy they could hold a slug-a-thon where participants just flop on bean bag chairs, snooze or fritter away the hours picking out their belly button lint.

Any takers?

Bertha
Bodyguard
Madge

We had a fabulous time on the Community Education Tacky Tour Trip!

Name Yourself Day

Today is National Name Yourself Day. If you have ever lamented over the fact your parents named you something awful this is your day.

Years ago my daughter Heather Mary Adams wanted to be called Alexandria. She not only wanted to be called by that name but requested it be pronounced in a rolling lyrical way like she was being presented on stage. Hard to put that in writing...That lasted for about a month.

Awhile back when I was conducting a workshop where participants were required to wear name tags. One woman wrote printed her name in large letters: G O R G E O U S

Being politically correct I asked how to pronounce her name thinking perhaps it meant something else in a different language. NOPE she replied, I just wanted people to call me GORGEOUS all day!

Now that's the attitude to have for Name Yourself Day.

what not to wear

What not to Wear is one of my favorite shows. There are times when I just know Stacy and Clinton (the hosts of the show) would cringe and mock me for what I am wearing. There is no doubt that they would toss out every single piece of clothing in my closet.

I always thought that when I was very old - say about 85 or 90 that I would be one of those zany seniors who would wear crazy attire. However, when I saw a screaming pink shirt with turtles, frogs, butterflies and cute tiny buttons on it yesterday (on sale!) I thought "why wait"

As my husband would point out "there is a reason it was on sale"

Yes, I can dress professional and dignified and do when I need to but what an easy way to express your personality than by wearing colorful and fun clothing.

Who wants to go shopping with me?

Re: Comment

Ellen: Oh no, I have consumed too many cookies and wear my clothing too tightly?

Annoying

While I often refer to a list of National Days in order to find a blog topic, I could not find a National Day for SCRATCHY CLOTHING LABELS.

Is there anything more annoying than a constant itch from a label? Rip it off! Cut it out! Who cares if you toss out the washing instructions - get rid of it.

I recently read an article that said you should make a list of small annoyances and then spend whatever time necessary to fix them. Things like a loose door handle, a door that sticks, etc. The author claims that by fixing these minor items your life would be oh-so much better.

I hope your Monday is annoyance-free and that the Easter Bunny delivered your favorite treats!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter!

Today is

Today is National Peanut Butter and Jelly day. No, I don't make these days up I just check out the "National Days" list on the internet.

Do you eat PB&J? Just google peanut butter personality and take a quick 5 question quiz. I did and here are the results of my quiz:

Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared.

You have a total sweet tooth. When you can get away with it, you like to have dessert before dinner!

Your taste in food tends to be conservative and traditional. It's likely that you prefer "All American" favorites like mac and cheese or hamburgers.

You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you.

So just in case you were wondering what to serve for supper tonight for the people in your family that don't care for fish - ta-da! PB&J's are the answer.

April Fool

People are generally surprised to learn that I don't play April Fool's pranks. I prefer playing harmless jokes on days when people least expect it.

Many years ago I worked with a "joker" ha ha ha Old Vince thought he was funny. Nobody else did. On the 1st of April he would pull out all the stops - whoopee cushion, plastic chickens and google eye glasses. Vince was the only person who "celebrated" April's Fool day and was disappointed nobody else did.

Playing pranks ON April 1st is for amateurs.

In the old days people had paper calendars with two little attachments on top. You would unwind the attachment and carefully place the calendar in place. Every day you would tear off the previous day's date. Old Vince would never miss tearing off a calendar page and announce loudly "THAT DAY IS OVER, TODAY IS ..." and then tell everyone the date.

In mid-April one year Old Vince left the office early. I took his calendar, unwound the attachments and shuffled his calendar pages. I left a few in order so he wouldn't get suspicious. For the rest of the year he would sputter and whine every time the day on his calendar was wrong. Guess who would laugh then?