Combination

Today's blog is a combination of sorts... First a quote:

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic.

Next: the next section is for women over 40. Men -- read at your own risk.

Yep, once again it was time for my annual mammogram. A few years ago I had a young girl as the technician. Okay, not a 9 year old but she was about 21 years old. First she smashed my personal body parts in the machine like a pancake then she sauntered over to the torture device before finally hitting the switch and releasing the switch. I asked if she ever had one and she twirled her hair, snapped her gum and said "Like, uh no dude, I don't remember having one" I told her if she had there would be no sauntering and she would sprint to the machine as if her life depended on it.

Yesterday I had a pleasant EXPERIENCED technician who appeared capable. I understand having to take the images twice. However, when she uttered phrases like "oops" and "darn this machine" or my favorite ... "sorry, it's not me it's the machine" then I got concerned.

I was trying to be patient (yes, it does happen on occasion) and was going to give her one more chance before I bolted out of the room. At this point I could have experienced less pain if I was on a garage floor and a truck backed over my personal body parts.

On the 5th try - yes 5th try the technician said "okay, I think we got it"

Did a woman invent the mammogram torture device? Ladies who have had this test say it with me... Heck NO!

I've been practicing my public behavior this morning and will try not to utter the words OUCH OUCH OUCH when I am in public places this morning. If I forget and you hear me please remind me to act like a lady or just walk away and ignore me.

Autumn breezes bring...

A few years ago I saw a MOUSE in our garage. It wasn't a cute little dancing Mickey or Minnie either. This was a disgusting, scurrying little rodent. Mice have babies. Mice have friends. Mice have big parties and if not stopped they will invade your home.

Did I scream when I saw the mouse? Yes!

Me? I don't overreact

My husband said he doubted I had really seen a hideous creature and said it was a leaf blowing on the floor of the garage. Ha! I went out the day of the mouse sighting (two years ago on 9-21-09) and bought every mouse trap and means of rodent elimination the hardware store had in stock. I even bought one of those little mouse machines. No, it's not a treadmill for mice but it is supposed to emit high pitched sounds which drive the little devils screaming and outside. Once outside, they go into the neighbors garage.

Warning Signs

I posted signs with a picture of a mouse in a trap that read: "Mice are not allowed in this garage, enter at your own risk" Right, so maybe mice can't read but you just never know, do you?

Preventative Measures

Each year about this time I purchase fresh mouse poison. The first year I spent nearly $65.00. I have it down to less than $10 now. I put the little blocks of tasty mice death entrees on a pale blue sheet of paper. No, not to give them place mats but this way I can see if they nibble on it.

Two years ago I also had a friend install metal flashing around the inside of the garage and put some traps in the storage room. The friend claims he never found any captured critters but I bet my husband just told him to say that.

Clean Garage

Someone told me that mice will eat birdseed. So much for feeding our fine feather friends. The birds can go somewhere else and scrounge for food. Our garage has never been cleaner. I have been known to sweep the garage floor in the middle of winter. Obsessed? No, just vigilant.

So, remember that autumn breezes bring mice. Mice are evil. Enough said.

Compliments Galore

Last week a medical technician said to me "you have probably heard this before but you have great veins" she stopped short of saying they are puffy and chubby and stick right out so my super-sharp needle can pierce your skin and make you bleed.

Mark Twain

Mark Twain once said "I can live for two weeks on a good compliment" When I conduct my Schmoozing 101 workshop I ask participants to recall a recent compliment they have received. When they have to go back to 3rd grade and say "you play dodge ball really well" it's truly a sad state of affairs.

I compliment people all the time.

Quite often I just blurt something out to a stranger like "cool shoes" or "great hair" or "that outfit looks better on you than it did me so I'm glad the thrift store made a sale" ha ha ha.
(For my gullible blog readers I made up the last statement)

Fishing for compliments

If you have to ask about how something looks or how someone feels you are fishing for a compliment. Compliments should be sincere. You don't want to say something like "for a fat lady you don't sweat much" because that might not go over well...

Today - compliment someone!

Tell them you like their smile, their attitude, you love having them as a friend, the fact they brushed their teeth today (oops, not sincere) you are glad it is their birthday - Happy Birthday Melon! or something else just to extend a kindness.

I declare today National Compliment Day!
(yes, you can make up holidays just for fun)

Happy Birthday to me

Today I am 57 years old and have never been happier. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, great friends and a caring daughter.
God has truly smiled on me for which I am grateful.

When I turned 50 my motto was "I'm 50, where are my presents??" I also had a surprise birthday party given for me 3 months prior to my birthday. My sister-in-the-heart wonderful friend Ginni came to visit from New York. She and her husband (along with Bruce who swears he knew nothing about it) threw a surprise ice cream social wear a crazy hat party! It's not often people surprise me but Jeepers Creepers that was one of them.

Upcoming posts will include chats about compliments and an overview of a wonderful craft event I attended this weekend.

Happy September 27th to you!

Evening Post

Days that zip by...

Some days are so jam-packed I don't have time to post in the wee hours of the morning.

Today was filled with , making music with the Kitchen Band at the Salvation Army, getting blood drawn just for fun,
and more .

Tomorrow's Topic: The art of compliments!

Mechanics

Mechanics

In the old days "auto technicians" were called mechanics.The shops were filthy, they wore overalls and spit a lot. They inspired confidence and you just knew they could fix your car just by listening to it.

When I was a financially challenged single Mom driving beat-up cars I would take my car into Bernie the old crotchety mechanic. I would say "Bernie, I only have $23.42 until payday, fix the most important items first" I think he felt sorry for me because after awhile he would return the car and allow me to pay him the full balance on payday.

To play on his sympathy I would bring sweet little Heather with me and coach her to say things like "Mommy, do we have to go without supper again to pay the car repair bill. I'm hungry!! ?" ha ha ha

Home Repair

One of my favorite cars was a 1967 lime green VW bug. It had seen better days but was affordable and cute! Besides the mechanical issues there were holes in the floor. Heather thought it was cool to see the street when she was strapped in the back seat. My Mom said "Vicki Lou honey, don't your feet get wet from all the splashing?" I decided to take matters into my own hands. I found some old cookie sheets in a dumpster (kidding, I never resorted to dumpster diving) and tried to pound them into the floor.

Oops, the gas line broke in my VW and that repair was way too expensive. Somewhere in Albert Lea you can probably still see a rotting lime green VW hidden beneath a grove of trees.

No women allowed

You never saw a woman working on a car. You still don't see women working on cars. There are strong, capable women in other careers, why not a garage?

At least women would hear the noises in your vehicle and not charge you hundred of dollars then say "noise not heard" What? the female service clerk heard the noise when I drove the car in the shop. Did my husband hear the noise? no. Sweetly he said "honey, if you hear a noise and want to take the car in get it checked out, that's fine"

THERE WAS A NOISE!

The auto technician cleaned the timing device in my nine year old Subaru. I bet he took it out and wiped it on his pants leg. Perhaps he went the extra mile and blew on it too. Popped it back in, changed the oil and then probably called the tattoo parlor and made an appointment for a full-body tat since he was rich.

If you know of a "Bernie" in Rochester who wants to fix my car next time, let me know!

This and That

Flu Shot

Yesterday I got my flu shot from a friendly and efficient health official.
They didn't give out lollipops or stickers for good behavior but I pouted enough that the nurse drew a smiley face on my band-aid.

Behind me in line was SDS, my swim coach from the Y. I won't say he was a about his shot but if you see him pretend to punch him in the left arm to see him flinch. ha ha ha I also met Mrs. SDS who is a lovely
woman.

Thanks to for telling me about the swimsuits on sale at Sears!

Patience is not one of my top ten virtues. Heck, it doesn't even make the top 25. If you want to see a lot of patient people go to a city council meeting. I went to one last night for the block grant portion of the meeting. Despite President Hansen encouraging people to "keep it brief" people spoke for nearly 10 minutes. The council already has pages and pages of information. How did I do? I finished my plea in 65 seconds. Yes, it surprised me too.

Quote for the day:

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from passing overhead. But, you can prevent them from makings nests in your hair.

Penmanship Passe?

By TOM BREEN, Associated Press Writer – Sat Sep 19, 9:44 am ET

CHARLESTON, W.Va. – Charleston resident Kelli Davis was in for a surprise when her daughter brought home some routine paperwork at the start of school this fall. Davis signed the form and then handed it to her daughter for the eighth-grader's signature.

"I just assumed she knew how to do it, but I have a piece of paper with her signature on it and it looks like a little kid's signature," Davis said.

Her daughter was apologetic, but explained that she hadn't been required to make the graceful loops and joined letters of cursive writing in years. That prompted a call to the school and another surprise.

West Virginia's largest school system teaches cursive, but only in the 3rd grade.

Letters are Treasures

My Dad was a brilliant artist and had beautiful penmanship! Dad's spelling and grammar were iffy since he only finished 8th grade but his letters to me are a treasure. During the years I lived in New York and Germany my Dad would write me every two weeks. The envelopes would be decorated with amazing drawings and cartoons and he address it: Dear Vicki, Lou since he was comma-happy just like I am.

The week before my Mom passed away suddenly she sent me a lovely note thanking me for a fun day and expressing her love for me. That is a letter I cherish as well.

A few years ago my husband attended a Christian men's retreat. One of the activities was to have the men write a letter to their wife. Imagine my surprise when I received a letter in the mail written in Bruce's handwriting! That heart-warming letter is also in a box with the special letters.

Today I challenge you to write an old-fashioned letter to someone close to you. Mail it to them, in an envelope with a stamp and wait for their astounded and grateful response.

Happy Friday

Batty

Last night I attended a meeting at the government center.

The experienced facilitator was discussing the strategic plan for our non-profit group. As she went to tack up a piece of paper on the board she quickly stopped, turned pale and moved as far away as possible.

Why? A BAT.
I would have started screaming but she was dignified and calm. She had been using the pin up board for about 30 minutes and had papers over the creature so didn't see it until then.

Most of the men in the group were brave (or pretended to be) and working together they trapped the vicious bat in a plastic garbage bag! All of the women went out in the hallway so the men could "concentrate"

The bat was turned loose and is no doubt finding a place to land in your home as you read this...

Happy Thursday!

Luau

Learn to Hula --- Mingle with Friends --- Have Fun!

Sounds like a commercial, doesn't it? Well, in a way it is.

The RNeighbors group in Rochester is having their 3rd annual fundraising luau on Friday, September 25 at the International Event Center.

Mayors Brede and Canfield will be learning the hula from Mayor HAZAMA. Plus:

Three - count 'em three local bands
Delicious food
Silent auction
The Neighborhood Feud with Denny Hanson

and much much more....

For a deal like this you would expect to pay $80 - NO. $40 - NO. For the low low price of $15 for one ticket or 2 for $25 you can take your entire family out for a wonderful evening.

Buy right now and we will throw in the slice and dice machine for only....oops, wrong pitch.

RNeighbors is the group that coordinates tree planting, street murals, supports neighborhood organizations and plays a major role in the Litter Bit Better campaign.

The event runs from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. and is family friendly. This means there won't be any foul mouthed comedians or people cursing at the next table.

For more information and to purchase tickets you can log on to www.RNeighbors.org or call me at 507-252-8712 and I will deliver your tickets to you and all your friends.

ALOHA!

Good News

Today's post is about Good News

Not necessarily WOW, I won the lottery excitement but every day happenings that make life a wee bit better.

New Job

Congratulations to my daughter Heather on her new marketing job! Heather lives in Rochester, New York and jobs are not easy to find.

New Swimsuit

My friend bought a lovely new swimsuit and was wearing it in the clean, freshly painted pool at the Y this morning.

New aches and pains

Kick my Kiester Kirk the Y trainer said. "Having sore muscles is good news because it means "we" are making progress." I think he uses the "we" since while I am the one doing the activities he is the one who has to deal with me and stand back from the sweat and stink.

It's been 3 weeks since Kirk and I started working together. I've only wanted to quit about 7 or 8 times and have only pouted occasionally. I've lost some blubber and am down one size. Whoo-Hoo.

I hope your day is filled with GOOD NEWS!

Choices

Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged..it's how I arrange it in my mind.
I already decided to love it.

It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the morning in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that ache or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that don't.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I have stored away.

Schmoozing

Schmoozing is the Golden Rule at full throttle.

Schmoozing is convincing the young man at the front desk of a hotel that I won't drown and to please let me use the pool at 5:00 a.m. I finally said "how about if I just walk in the pool?" He was still hesitant. So I read his name tag and said "Thomas, pretend I am your Mom or your Grandma. I'm a chunky old woman with bad knees who needs to walk in the pool" Thomas relented. My desperate last ditch plea was going to tell him I would sit in the lobby in my swimsuit until he bended the rule a bit.

Alas, now that I have been in the pool, enjoyed breakfast and had a great time with my co-workers it is off to an all day meeting featuring power point presentations.

Have a great weekend!

Work, work, work

National Teddy Bear day

Today is National Teddy Bear day

Teddy Bears are cute. I have two of them. Mayor Brede of Rochester has a huge collection of teddy bears in his office at the government center. The Teddy Bear band from the Twin Cities is a popular group that entertains kids. The little ones bring their favorite teddy bears and sing and dance with the band. Cute.

Cuter than Teddy Bears

What is cuter than teddy bears? Sock monkeys! We have a collection of 47 sock monkeys. Sock monkeys were originally made in the 1930's out of old brown work socks with red heels. The red heel is used for the mouth and the backside of the monkey. It's a basic pattern and lends itself to a lot of creative license. Hence, the wide variety of monkeys.

Part of the family

One or two of our monkeys have traveled with us over the years. Peppy went on a cruise, Willy and Bo-Bo have been to Arizona and Molly had her picture taken with the Hooters Owl mascot out West. We've had sock monkeys surprise weddings (just to tease Lola) a sock monkey funeral and some of the "family" has even had a baby without the benefit of marriage.

Picture Perfect

Last year many of the "kids" had their picture taken on Santa's lap, on Santa's head, under Santa's arms and then the mall asked us not to bring the "kids" back since it freaked out the children. wimps.

Famous

A few years ago the monkeys were featured in an article in the Rochester magazine and even starred on the cover!

On the lookout

We're (okay, just me) always on the lookout for new monkeys. Do I make them? ha ha ha. Heck no. Most of our monkeys are from antique stores. I pick them up and smell them because if they are too old and are stuffed with old nylons there is no way to get them clean. Plus then the other kids make fun of the new ones.

Monkey room

The bedroom downstairs in our home is dedicated to the monkeys. They are all lined up on shelves and wooden benches. They were name tags and during the holiday season some are chosen to sit under the tree providing they don't whine when I put red and green ribbons around their neck.

Lola occasionally spends the evening as a guest in our home. She sleeps on the couch in the living room downstairs because she says it's tough to sleep with 47 pair of eyes looking at you. Doesn't Lola close her eyes when she sleeps?

Maybe next year I will find a way to declare a National Sock Monkey Day!

Back to School

What? Did I get carried away and blog for hours? No. In honor of the first day of school I am posting an article I wrote for the September 2005 issue of Rochester Women magazine. Grab a cup of coffee, take three and a half minutes out of your day and read a slightly embellished true story.

Your very first teacher should look like Mrs. Doubtfire, smell like snicker doodles and be as sweet as Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother, Merryweather. My very first teacher looked like Captain Hook, smelled like mothballs and was as mean as Cruella De Vil.

My first grade teacher was Sister Mary Philomena. She was 116 years old and not even considering retirement. Sister had the misfortune of having my two rambunctious and oh-so-unforgettable older brothers in classes before me so when she read my name on the roster she was not overjoyed. Her first words to me were not “Good Morning Sunshine, welcome to Holy Family School” said with a big, welcoming smile but were instead “Heaven Help us, there’s another one of you!!” said with a grimace that made the hairy mole on her chin shake like mad every time she smacked the wooden ruler against the palm of her hand.

Even though I was nothing like my older brothers Mickey and Timmy, Sister kept waiting for me to act like one of those “wild ruffian brothers of mine”. I was shy, quiet and obedient so after awhile Sister stopped snarling and muttering under her breath at me but would shake the jar of wooden rulers on her desk when I turned in my papers.

One evening I was struggling with my first grade arithmetic homework, I was erasing the wrong answers and getting quite frustrated. Mickey and Timmy decided to help. They said they had some magical colorful stickers they took from my Dad’s sign shop that were guaranteed to make Sister smile. They explained one of the reasons Sister Mary Philomena was so crabby was that there was no color in her life. Her habit was black and white, the convent had no color, Father Korte the parish priest wore black. Wouldn’t I just love to be the person that transformed Sister and made her smile for a change?

The next day, right before the dismissal bell rang I cheerfully handed in my assignment

Sister’s transformation occurred the minute she spotted my paper. Her eyes bulged out, her face turned scarlet, she grabbed the edge of the desk and shouted “VICKI LOU, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF…” and then she keeled over. We all froze for a moment and a classmate gasped “I think you killed her!” Another classmate ran to find the principal. I stood glued to spot praying she would wake up and start shaking the ruler jar or yelling, anything – just so I wasn’t responsible for Sister’s demise.

Sister Mary Winifred zoomed in the room her robes flapping; felt for a pulse, and then the paramedics arrived and whisked Sister Mary Philomena away on a stretcher.

Mickey, Timmy and I said at least 327 gazillion “Hail Mary’s” that night.

The next morning we arrived at school early and crept in the classroom.

There were yellow and red chrysanthemums on the desk, the windows were open wide, the jar of wooden rulers was gone and a young, robust, cheerful nun sat behind the desk.

Sister Mary Flora was our teacher for the remainder of the year. She said Sister Mary Philomena was going to be just fine, was retiring a wee bit early and wouldn’t it be sweet if we made get well cards for her. As I got my crayons out Sister Mary Flora floated over to me and whispered “Good Morning Sunshine, welcome to Holy Family School”

I had some good Catholic friends read the article ahead of time. They said it was fine. Guess I should have checked with a higher authority since after the article appeared three nuns from a local convent called and yelled at me! Seriously. Cross my heart.

Anniversary Celebration

Each year for the past 15 years, Bruce and I take turns planning a short get-a-way to celebrate our anniversary. This year it was my turn to plan the celebration. We went to....Stewartville! No, just kidding, I am saving that for 2011, this year we went to Chanhassen Dinner Theater.

Bruce is a big fan of old-time country twangy music.
As hoped, we both truly enjoyed the show "Always, Patsy Cline". It was a phenomenal show and our weekend away from the daily chores of life was relaxing and refreshing.

Upcoming Posts

This week I have some out of town business so if day or two goes by without a new post don't be a pouty baby-head but check back the next day.

Long Weekend

15 years of wedded bliss

My patient and sweet husband, Bruce and I were married 15 years ago today! In those 15 years we have laughed together nearly every day, seldom argued or disagreed and are blessed to have a healthy and happy marriage. By the way - I don't wear crazy hats all the time..this picture was taken in May, 2009 before a radio theater performance.

Soul mates?

Are we soul mates? No! Neither of us like that phrase. How about love birds? Okay, I can accept that. Not long ago someone asked how long we had been married. When I told them they were surprised since they thought "old married couples" didn't kiss in public or hold hands.

Wedding Memories

Bruce and I had the theme from the Andy Griffith show played in the middle of the recessional hymn at our wedding. We had a quote from Barney Fife on the wedding program. "It ain't only the materialist things in life that matter, it's family and friends what make a difference" I drew the line at having a picture of old Barney Parney Poo on the wedding program.

The Honeymoon

Bruce and I went on a cruise the February after we were married. One evening we were alone on the top deck. We were holding hands, gazing at the moon and then he put his arms around me. I thought "oh, how sweet, he is going to tell me something wonderful and I will treasure the memory forever" Indeed, I treasure the memory. Instead of whispering something touching he started singing "When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie that's Amore" Making me laugh is one of the reasons I love Bruce.

Celebration

Every year on our anniversary we take turns planning a short trip. We've been to Duluth, New Ulm, Decorah, Northfield, LaCrosse and this year we are going to: It's a surprise and it's my year to plan. So, check back on Monday and discover where we went to enjoy 15 years together.