Mini-Donuts and other evil foods

Evil Fair Food

Many years ago before weight watchers kicked me out for eating a juicy double bacon cheeseburger during their meeting they would wait in eager anticipation for the EVIL FAIR FOOD WEEK. The week before the Fair they would hold up an innocent mini-donut and tell you how many points it was worth. They would show you precisely where on your hips it would land and the biggest lie of all...they would tell you the donuts aren't worth going "off the plan" Ha!

Grease is Good

Once a year you need the mini-donut grease or corn dog germs to keep you lubricated and ready to face the stinking heat for the rest of the summer.

Can you imagine taking your excited 5 year old to the Fair and then saying "Opie, how about a nummy tofu sandwich on a wheat pita and because you didn't puke in the 4H barn when you saw the chickens I will give you SPROUTS on your sandwich too!"

Cleanliness is next to....

Part of the flavor of Fair food is from the fact that you seldom see fair vendors wash their hands before they prepare your food.

"Oh, wait -- let me scrub my hands and put on plastic gloves before I hand you this 7.5 lb. turkey leg. Sir, can you balance all that with your cheese curds, pork chop on a stick and freshly squeezed lemonade? Allow me to find you a clean picnic table with nothing mysterious and sticky all over it..."

Animal Barns

Having an asthma attack at the Fair isn't all it's cracked up to be. A chunky chick sitting on the ground shooting up her inhaler doesn't hold a candle to Susie the Sheep who just left a calling card on the ground in front of you.

Love Connections on the Midway

My very first date with my husband was the Olmsted County Fair. At that time he didn't know me well enough to know that I would rather have a root canal than go the Fair. I must have been a good sport and kept my opinion of the Fair to myself (yes, I can keep my mouth shut) because now we are happily married and haven't been to the Fair since then.

Enjoy and Indulge

So, wear your oldest shoes, bring plenty of cash and keep your weight watcher scale at home. Enjoy, indulge, savor summer and eat a few dozen bags of mini-donuts for me!